Your friends, co -workers, and colleagues are not equipped nor do they have the capacity to manage your emotional baggage. If you reject them because you have emotionally them, he/she will start to avoid you. Counseling you is not their job. Learn to manage your emotions in therapy and use healthy alternative coping skills and you'll be sure to maintain and keep your friends! Don't know how? Stay connected for 5 Sure Fire Ways to Drive Your Friends Away (no pun intended or meant).
Relying on your friends, family members, etc, for guidance in the on and off again intimate relationship with that ‘dude’ or that “lady” you dated for years. They have heard your complaints and grumbles for years only to find out you never intended to leave the unfulfilling relationship…you just want to vent. This drains your friends of time and energy and their belief in you that you truly desire more.
You only reach out to the best friend or colleague when you are in emotional distress. When you are well and thriving, they don’t hear from you. Stay connected with those that have been there for you through the good and bad times. Let them hear from you that you are truly appreciative of their friendship and not just for a sounding board. It also says that you can be there for them.
Social media posts and likes and shares do not validate you or anyone else. Do not rely on feedback from your posts as an answer to your cry for help to relieve you of any emotional burden you are experiencing. Some people will respond out of kindness; others from a place of empathy or even sympathy. But those who genuinely care for your well being, will inbox you or contact your directly. Some will see the posts as a cry for help and not be very empathic. Don’t subject yourself to the validation and feedback of social media platforms-they are fickle!
Rejecting or cutting off friends who say the wrong thing or don’t know what to say because they are absolutely overwhelmed with your emotional issues. Imagine that therapists have years of training in understanding human behavior, your friend cannot possibly give you what you need psychologically, other than “bad advice” or no advice. A response such as, “I’m sorry to hear you are going through this” may be the best they can offer.
Talk to your therapist for deeper issues and your friends for issues that we all go through and to get you through a moment of desperation until you talk to your therapist.
We all need a good support system, but far too often we rely on those closest to us to bear the burden of our emotional struggles because we are hesitant or fearful of seeing a professional.
Want to save your friendships, get a therapist!